Parenting in today’s fast-paced, technology-driven, and constantly changing world presents challenges that previous generations didn’t face. Kids today are growing up in a different world, one filled with new pressures, expectations, and opportunities. While each child is unique, there are some common themes that many children wish their parents understood about what it’s like to grow up in today’s society.
Here are 10 things kids today want their parents to know:
1. We’re Trying Our Best with the Society We’ve Been Given
The world is constantly changing, and kids today are navigating new challenges, such as social media, academic pressure, and global concerns like climate change. It’s important for parents to recognize that, despite all these challenges, kids are doing their best to thrive. Sometimes we may fall short, but we’re learning and growing along the way.
What you can do: Offer understanding and encouragement. Let your child know you recognize their efforts and that it’s okay to make mistakes while figuring things out.
2. We Want Our Emotions Respected
Kids today are more aware of their emotions and mental health than previous generations. We want our parents to understand that our emotions are valid, even if they don’t always make sense from the outside. When we’re upset, anxious, or frustrated, we need our emotions respected, not dismissed.
What you can do: Practice active listening when your child is expressing their emotions. Instead of saying, “It’s not a big deal,” try saying, “I can see this is really important to you. Let’s talk about it.”
3. We Need Space to Express Our Emotions
Sometimes, we need to cry, vent, or be angry without being told to calm down or stop feeling what we’re feeling. Having the space to express our emotions in a safe environment helps us process what’s going on in our minds and hearts.
What you can do: Create an emotionally safe space for your child to express themselves. Let them know it’s okay to feel their emotions, and offer comfort without trying to “fix” everything immediately.
4. We Thrive in Structure
While we often push back against rules and boundaries, we actually thrive in environments where there is structure and consistency. Having routines and clear expectations helps us feel safe and secure. Even when we resist, we rely on these boundaries to navigate the world.
What you can do: Set clear, consistent rules and routines that help your child know what to expect. Balance structure with flexibility to give them the security they need to grow.
5. We Don’t Respond Well to Yelling
Yelling doesn’t motivate us—it usually shuts us down. When we’re yelled at, we often feel scared, misunderstood, or resentful, which makes it harder for us to listen or respond in a positive way. Calm, respectful communication is much more effective.
What you can do: Practice calm communication, even when you’re frustrated. If you feel the need to raise your voice, take a moment to pause and reset before responding.
6. We Need You to Be Present
In a world full of distractions—especially from technology—we need you to be fully present with us. It’s not about the amount of time, but the quality of time we spend together. Whether it’s during dinner or when we’re talking about our day, we want to feel like we have your full attention.
What you can do: Set aside time each day to be fully present with your child, free from distractions like phones or work. Engage in meaningful conversations or activities where they know you’re focused on them.
7. We Learn Best from Your Example
We’re always watching how you handle challenges, emotions, and relationships. The way you manage stress, resolve conflicts, and treat others shapes how we learn to navigate the world. We need you to model the behavior you want to see in us.
What you can do: Be mindful of how you handle situations, especially in front of your child. When you make mistakes, own them, and show your child that it’s okay to learn and grow from them.
8. We Value Connection Over Perfection
Sometimes it feels like there’s pressure to be perfect, whether it’s in school, sports, or relationships. But what we really want from our parents is connection, not perfection. We don’t need you to have all the answers—we just need to know you’re there for us, unconditionally.
What you can do: Focus on building a strong emotional connection with your child, rather than striving for perfection. Let them know that you love and support them, no matter what.
9. We Need to Know It’s Okay to Make Mistakes
We’re growing up in a world where success and achievement are often overemphasized, and failure feels scary. We need you to remind us that it’s okay to make mistakes, that we don’t have to be perfect, and that failure is a part of learning and growing.
What you can do: Encourage a growth mindset by normalizing mistakes and failures. When your child makes a mistake, focus on the lessons learned rather than the outcome.
10. We Appreciate Being Given Choices
We want to feel like we have some control over our lives, even in small ways. When we’re given choices—whether it’s what to wear, what to eat, or how to approach a task—we feel more empowered and responsible.
What you can do: Offer your child age-appropriate choices that allow them to practice decision-making. Instead of dictating everything, say, “Would you like to do your homework now or after dinner?” or “Would you rather wear the red or blue shirt today?”
Final Thoughts
Parenting today’s kids can be challenging, especially in a rapidly changing world. However, by understanding their needs and perspectives, you can create a stronger, more supportive relationship. Kids today want to be heard, respected, and guided with empathy. By focusing on connection, structure, and emotional support, you’ll be able to nurture their growth in ways that empower them to thrive in today’s society.
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